A Moment in Time
by amyniknak
Summary: Some moments don't matter to us at the time, but years later they mean more than ever. SeverusLily. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and the characters of Severus and Lily.

A/N – Wow. Second fic in like three days. I amaze even myself sometimes with how bored it is possible to be. And how moved by Severus's story it is possible to be too. And I know there are a lot of fics like this, but I had the perfect setting in mind (this bit of woodland near where I live) and I was there today and everything just started to come to me. Enjoy!

_**A Moment In Time**_

The sun winked from behind the tall trees, shining like some kind of precious jewel in the ble sky. Clouds drifted lazily by, almost yellow in colour as they reflected the sun's rays. There was a gentle breeze, rippling the water of the lake, making it glitter as if it were alive. Two children were sat side by side, watching the squirrels frolic in the trees, talking earnestly to each other about things only they could understand.

The girl appeared to be around eleven years old, her auburn hair falling to somewhere below her shoulders. Lily's face was friendly, as if she were incapable of ever being unkind to anyone, and a small smile played about her lips as she basked in the late summer sunshine.

The boy was probably the same age as her, but something about him made him seem older, more weathered, wiser. His black, overlong hair hung over his equally black eyes, obscuring his pale, sallow face from view. To many, he seemed strange, he was "that Snape boy", and no-one except Lily knew that when he smiled, all his cares seemed to fall away.

"Leave him alone! He's only playing!" the girl scolded, as the boy went to throw a twig at a young squirrel nearby.

"Look at him Sev, he's only little! He hasn't done anything to you!"

She placed her hand upon Severus's shoulder, pleading with her eyes. He dropped the stick, and turned away from the creature. That was the thing about Lily. She did something to him, something that made him change. He often thought it was her eyes. They were like no eyes he'd ever seen before. His mother's eyes were always red-rimmed and watery, and they never sparkled. His father's were black just as his were, only to Severus they represented his father's personality pretty well – dark, cold, and unforgiving. But Lily's. Her's were unique. They seemed to shimmer before him as she looked at him, greener and brighter than anything around them.

Lily looked across the lake into the distance. It was getting colder as summer wore on and autumn approached. She was allowed to stay out as long as she liked, as long as she told her parents where she was going and who she would be with, and came home before it got dark. With her friend though, she knew it was different. He never seemed to want to go home, and in fact, she'd never seen him go through his front door and greet his mother at the end of the day. She had worked out a long time ago that his parents maybe weren't like hers, and that maybe they expected him to stay out, because they didn't really want him there. The breeze ruffled Lily's hair as she thought.

Silence enveloped the pair, but it was peaceful. The two had spent so much time together since they had met two years ago that it was almost as if words were not needed. Just spending time together was enough to satisfy them.

"Look Sev, there's a deer!"

"No there isn't."

"I saw one, it's over there!"

"There aren't any here; I've never even seen one."

"That doesn't mean they don't exist! I did see one, it was a girl one!"

"You mean a doe. A girl deer is called a doe, and a boy one is called a stag."

"How'd' you know that Sev?"

"Just do."

Severus liked teaching Lily about things. It made him feel as if there was a reason they were friends. He knew she had lots of other friends, as well as her sister Petunia, that she could play with, but she always picked him. It made him feel all weird inside, sort of like electricity. She actually wanted him. He'd never known anyone to want him before. His mother never held him or kissed him or asked him how his day went, and his father…Well. He got the feeling his father would have been happier if he had never been born.

"Lily?" he asked tentatively.

"Yeah?"

"D'you think we'll be friends forever?"

"Course we will Sev. We'll always be friends. I can't wait till we get to Hogwarts. We'll be able to learn magic together! I can't believe we'll be there in two weeks time!"

"I know. Have you got your stuff yet?"

"Yeah, me, Mum, Dad and Tuney went to get it all last week. It's great in Diagon Alley, isn't it?"

"I dunno. I haven't been."

"Haven't you? Where are you going to get your school things then?"

"My mum says I can use her old books. They aren't that old. She says we can't aff.. that we might as well since she still has them."

Lily watched as a slight blush flushed across her friend's pale face. She knew it wasn't his fault that his family didn't have much money. She'd heard her parents talking, and she had a feeling that it was to do with Severus's father drinking quite a lot. She knew it was time to change the subject.

"Tell me again about what happens at Hogwarts!"

"Well, we do loads of stuff. And it's only for people who have magic like us. We do stuff like look at magical plants, and make potions. And we learn spells, to help us fight against evil, and look at the stars. And there's also games, like Quidditch, which is where you fly on broomsticks and try to score, and at Hallowe'en there's always a feast."

"It sounds so good!"

"Yeah. I hope we're in the same house."

"I bet we will be. And even if we aren't, we'll still be friends."

"Always?"

"Of course Sev!"

Severus got up from where he had been sitting, and absentmindedly walked over to a nearby tree. Lily followed dreamily.

"Lets' carve our names on the tree…" Severus suggested, a brilliant idea forming in his head.

"But won't that damage the tree?"

That was another thing Severus liked about Lily. She seemed to care about everything around her, even the plants and animals. He'd been taught to look out only for himself, but here she was, warning him about damaging a tree that couldn't even talk.

"Don't worry Lily, the tree's bark will probably grow over where we do it, and the tree won't feel anything."

"Okay then."

Severus took about a small silver pen-knife from his pocket, and proceeded to carve a wonky S on the tree. He took care with his work, his eyes focussed upon the task in hand.

"Your go."

Lily took the knife, and being very careful not to let it cut her, formed the letter L. Severus watched her carefully. He saw how her tongue peeked itself out of the corner of her mouth, and how the shade of the tree almost hid her summer freckles.

"Done!" She said triumphantly, straightening out to admire their work.

"'s pretty."

"Yeah, I think so too."

Severus hadn't meant that the tree carving was pretty, he had meant something else entirely. He had noticed how her red hair shone in the half-light, and how even in the shade her eyes still seemed to glitter. That strange feeling inside him was coming back, it was almost like a tingle now. He shivered, unsure of what to do next and all of a sudden incredibly conscious of how he looked.

"Are you cold Sev?"

"No, why?"

"I am a bit."

"D'you want to wear my coat?"

Lily wrinkled her nose. His coat was a bit weird. It used to belong to his dad, he'd once said, and she didn't really want to wear someone's coat who she didn't know. But she was freezing in her thin summer dress, as dusk began to settle around them. She took the coat, and even though it was miles too big for her, it seemed to fit. It didn't smell of anything really, even though she had been expecting it to, and it was warm. She smiled inside, as she thought of how the coat was kind of like it's owner – people expected one thing of him, but he was something else entirely. He was easy to talk to, and made her feel happy, and he knew so many things, all about magic and everything she could even think of. And even though he didn't look it, he was safe.

Severus smiled. He'd made her happy again! He loved it when that happened, because she usually smiled, and it made her eyes do that special sparkling thing. But his happiness was shattered by the arrival of another person – a slightly older girl with a long neck and an unforgiving air.

"Lily, Mum says you have to come home now."

Lily sighed. She hated it when her sister came and spoiled everything.

"But me and Severus are playing!"

Petunia's voice dropped to a dramatic whisper, which was still not quiet enough to not carry over to Severus.

"You know Mum doesn't want you playing with him."

Severus turned his head away, not wanting Petunia to see that her comment had upset him. He knew he wasn't normal, but it still hurt discovering more people who didn't trust him.

"That's a lie Tuney! Mum said she doesn't mind as long as I'm happy! So you can shove off!"

Lily didn't know if that was true or not – her mother had never even mentioned what she thought of Severus, but it seemed to work. Petunia's hands dropped from their position on her hips, as she tried a different tactic.

"Dad's home Lily, and he brought us a cake!"

"Really?" Lily smiled. She loved her father, and he always spoiled his two daughters.

"Yeah, and you'd better come home now if you want some, or I'll eat it all!"

Petunia made to run, hoping that Lily would race her and leave that awful boy. Ever since she'd met him, she never played with her anymore, only him, and it wasn't fair.

"Bye Sev. See you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Mmm."

"Bye."

Severus really didn't want her to leave. It was like this every night, whether it got too dark and she had to go home or whether Petunia arrived to take her sister away. Because when she went, there wasn't really any reason for him to stay. So he'd have to go home, and try to escape upstairs to bed before his mum noticed he had been out all day and alerted his dad, who would unbuckle his leather belt and drunkenly stumble around the house slurring threats to him. Sometimes he hated his life.

"Can't you stay a bit longer Lil?"

"But Sev, I want to go home."

"Well I don't."

Lily looked desperately at her sister, whose false smile was quickly becoming more like a snarl. Petunia folded her arms angrily. Lily ran over to Severus, and hugged him.

"I'm sorry Sev, but I've really got to go. I promise I'll come tomorrow. I'll save some cake for you, and we can have a picnic! My mum can make us some of her special lemonade, and I'll make some sandwiches too! We can have it here, and it will be for all-day, and… then after maybe you can come to my house, and we can play my new board game, it's called Monopoly and you'd probably be really good at it 'cause you need to be clever to win it! And my mum might make us some hot chocolate, and we can sit in front of the fire, and it's really warm! Won't that be good Sev?"

Sev nodded, his face nestled on lily's shoulder as she hugged him. He felt a bit foolish, because he could tell Petunia was watching and would probably tease Lily later, but it felt nice to be so close to her. As he breathed, he could feel her hair on his face, and it smelt special, as if it could save him.

Lily pulled away from the hug, and ran off to join her sister. Severus watched them go, his hands thrust deep inside his pockets. She was still wearing his coat.

"Lily?"

But she was out of earshot. It didn't really matter about the coat. She'd give it back to him tomorrow. It wasn't the loss of his coat that made his black eyes well up with tears though. It was how he always ended up having to watch her leave, and never be by her side.

---_Ten Years Later_---

She had been killed. Murdered. And it was all his fault. Severus wandered through the patch of woodland that had once been their special place, trying his hardest to pretend she was still there. But she never would be. The Dark lord had made sure of that.

He'd asked him to save her. He'd pleaded, he'd begged – but to no avail. He should have known it was useless to even try – his master could never understand love. But then that was just typical of his life, wasn't it?

She had only been twenty-one. She'd hardly had a chance to live. And she had a son, a baby son. He'd grow up without a mother now.

But what hurt the most was that he'd never had a chance to apologise.

The guilt seemed to be fastening itself around Severus's neck, preventing him from breathing. He dropped to his knees, clutching his head as though it were about to burst. He hadn't cried in years, but emotion seemed to be invading every part of him as he felt his entire body sob. Everything suddenly felt a lot colder, a lot more futile. There wasn't a point to anything any more.

He looked up, his pale face flushed with sadness. He suddenly noticed a tree. A tree he knew so well, but that offered new meaning now. A shape, no, two letters, side by side, an S and an L. Severus and Lily. He walked over to the trunk, and with a long white finger traced the carving, as if somehow it would create a spell to bring her back.

He now knew which side he was on. It didn't matter what had happened before, all he knew was that it was imperative that he did right by lily now. He'd join her side, simply because she had believed in it and she was right. If only he'd listened to her when she had advised him against supporting Voldemort. Maybe she'd be alive if he had.

A crack of a twig behind him awoke him from his reverie. He spun around, and noticed a female deer in the distance. She seemed to be looking at him, her dark eyes gazing curiously into his.

"She was right about that too…" Severus sighed, before wrapping his cloak around himself and heading home.


End file.
